One Door Closes, But There Are So Many Others....
“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” —Winston Churchill
This is the year I will celebrate two momentous anniversaries. The first is Anthropoloca Jewelry’s 10th year in the United States! Ten years ago, with $50 in my pocket and a backpack stuffed to the brim with cords, seeds, stones, and beads, I could have never envisioned the endless opportunities my jewelry would send my way. I am both proud and weirdly surprised that I am still creating and trying to forge a living with my own two hands; the fact is that I do not go a single day without thinking about my creations, or something that has to do with sustaining this whole “being an artist” thing. I saw this quote the other day, and it gave me strength and inspiration. It is hard. I doubt myself. I wonder why I even bother at times. I question my worth, my ability, and my skill. Yet, I can’t NOT do it. I can’t NOT create. And I am thrilled, excited, and empowered to know that I am still on this quest to create something beautiful in the world. I am humbled by those of you who have supported me along the way, and it makes me smile to think of my creations being worn all around the world by amazing, brilliant and inspiring people.
The second anniversary, (and personally more important) is that I will have been practicing yoga for TWENTY YEARS. What, yall?? I. CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT. There aren’t really even words to express how much this practice has literally changed my life. I stepped into my first class in August 1999, as a freshman in college. It seemed like and interesting and easy extra-curricular. It ended up being perhaps the most momentous thing of my life. Having suffered from depression on and off throughout childhood (and particularly in my late teens) I was on medication for my depression at the time I started school. Yoga began to crack me open, and show me the slivers of light within the dark box of my own mind. I began to see my mind and emotions in a different way, recognizing they are not WHO I AM. After a second semester of yoga, I remember throwing away my medication saying “I don’t need this anymore.” I have been med free ever since.
That isn’t to say it is a cure. The depression is there. The self-doubt is there. The self-loathing is there. The dark, black box of my mind and the story it wants to tell me is still there. But my practice—it is a place of release, of surrender, of acceptance. It is a place of space and quiet in the midst of the chaotic storm my mind brings. It is the fullness at the top of each breath, the emptiness at the bottom, and the space in between. It is where I have learned (and continue daily) to accept myself in all of my perfectly imperfect variations. It is where I am always the ever-evolving and curious student; the more I discover and learn, the more I realize how little I actually know. It keeps me humble. It keeps me calm. It keeps this LOCA sane! And I am filled with an all consuming gratitude to the brim each and every time I step onto my mat and into my practice. My mind wants to jump in “You’ve done yoga 20 years and you can’t still handstand! You should be better than this after all this time. Blah, blah, blah to the fucking blah” Yet, I have learned—AM LEARNING that it has nothing to do with a pose. With some physical ability, or inability. It is about softening. Awareness. Opening. Expanding. Loving. Presence.Letting go of expectations of what you THINK should be for what IS.
And the beauty is that these lessons begin to slowly percolate into your life. Into your perception. Into your relationships. Into how you deal with the constant ever-changing shifts that life ALWAYS brings. And you begin to be okay with that change, even if it is painful or uncomfortable.
I will be closing my public studio space at the end of the month. It has been a wonderful experience, but the location has not been ideal, and I have found drawing people in to be a difficult task. Furthermore, our landlords are selling our house in May, which means we will be moving. It makes financial sense for my family to save that extra rent money for what will (hopefully) go to buying our own home.
I am a little sad to deconstruct the beautiful space I created, but I am also excited. My word this year is EXPAND. And though closing my shop’s doors may not seem like ‘expansion’ I know and trust it is the right thing to do. Expansion is not just a physical experience—growth comes in so many ways, and usually it is non-linear. I trust what is in store, and if yoga has taught me anything, it is that when in doubt, breathe a little deeper and sit still. So here is to staying open. Sitting still, Knowing that “not knowing’ is okay. Expansion happens when we allow our minds to settle, our breath to deepen and open our heart to what lies in that space in between.
And I am so thankful to have these two modalities in my life that have proven crucial to my own personal growth as a human being—and since I literally cannot go a day without thinking of making jewelry or yoga practice, I guess I am doing the right thing! Here’s to another 20 years of both!
That said, if you have wanted to stop by and say hi, now’s the chance! After next week, I’ll be moving back into my home studio—where the magic will continue to happen! Always text, call or message—my hours are by appointment or by chance ;) And take a moment to head to my website where ALL necklaces are 30% with code EXPAND19 I am trying to lighten my moving load and create more space for new creations. Please feel free to comment with your experiences with yoga—have you tried it, do you practice, did you love it or hate it, and why? I’m always happy to offer any humble advice. My thought is that yoga is for EVERYBODY—you just have to find the right practice for you and your body. What about the thing for you you cannot go a day without thinking about? What is your passion that brings you joy? I would love to hear your experiences!